What Happens at a Swingers Party?

Over the last few years, swinging has become a talking point between people all over the western world. There are several questions that keep getting asked, and which is the topic of this post:

What happens at a swingers party?

The quick answer is of course, people have sex with strangers.

• The full answer is that people have a good night out, in an relaxing but sexually exciting environment, where they can live out their fantasies in safety.
• sometimes they have sex with strangers,
• sometimes they have sex with their own partners while other people watch
• maybe they watch while another couple have sex
• maybe the woman will play with other men or women while the husband watches
• maybe the man will play while the wife watches

Basically what goes on at a swingers party is whatever the guests at the party want to indulge in, as long as it is in agreement with the other guests.

At a party you will see:

• people naked, semi naked and fully dressed.
• people hin a sexually aroused state.
• people having sex with another person or group of people
• sometimes people having extreme sex involving bondage or sado-masochism
• people living life to the full and having fun

The most common format for a party is that upon arrival guests are relieved of their coats, offered a refreshment, and shown the facilities.

The hosts will introduce the guests to other people attending the party, shown all the playrooms, and given an explanation about what is allowed and not allowed in the different areas.

Most parties have a "safe" zone where people can sit and relax, knowing that they are not going to be touched, or see full on sexual activity whilst in that area.

The safe zone is where you chat to other people and decide if you want to go further and play in one of the rooms.

The other way to get involved in the action is to enter one of the playrooms when it is use, and make an approach.

• Remember if a playroom door is shut, it means don't enter
• If the door is open it means you may enter
• If while watching you think you would like to join in, move closer and touch the arm, leg or shoulder of the person you are interested in playing with
• If the person says no, moves away from you, or shakes their head, it means stop
• If the person says nothing, smiles at you, says yes, then you are invited to play.

When playing, remember that you should make sure your partner is also enjoying themselves, and that the partner of the person you are playing with is happy.

There are a few rules of engagement at parties, sometimes they are published on the websites of the party hosts (see http://www.ddparties.com/ ) sometimes the hosts take it for granted that the guests will know what is allowed and not allowed.

Put simply the most common rules are:

• No means No - if anyone says no when you ask, or attempt to join them, please respect them and retire. If you persist you will be asked to leave the party.
• No hard drugs. Most clubs and party hosts operate a no drugs policy. There are no drugs, with the exception of Viagra and Cialis that have any positive effects for boosting or helping sexual performance, most will actually have a negative effect on your sexual performance. It is also more fun to have a partner who is able to communicate coherently.
• Anyone found using "date rape" drugs, or dealing any drugs will be reported to the police.
  Go easy on the alcohol - a drunk is not an attractive swinging partner, and will impair your performance.
• No pressure - do not try to force anyone to do anything they don't want to do - not even your own partner. Agree before attending the party on what each of you is permitted to do at that event. This agreement can be changed before each party, but do not attempt to change the rules at the party, as this can lead to arguments and a bad atmosphere for the other guests.
• Open bedroom/playroom doors - invitation to others to join them in the room.
• Closed bedroom/playroom doors - please respect the privacy of people in the room - (closed doors are not a preferred action, as it reduces the amount of play areas for everyone).
• Cameras and camera phones and other audio and picture recording devices are not allowed.
• Be open minded - everyone is here for sex and fun. If that is not what you want - please don't attend.
• Don't stand in the bedrooms/playrooms and talk, this is very off-putting for everyone - its ok to watch, preferred if you join in. If you want to talk to someone please go to the lounge or kitchen area's.
• You should assume that the other person will want you to use a condom, always take a supply with you, as not all venues supply them, nor do all guests carry them.
• Always leave with the person you arrive with. We as hosts have had several ladies left behind without money or transport at the end of parties. It is unfair to expect the hosts to either transport, or pay the taxi fare to deliver abandoned partners back to their homes

So now you know. Talk it through with your partner, make sure you are both happy with what happens, and what you want to do at a party, and come along and join in the fun.

Interview with a Pervert Part 1

This is part 1 of a 2 part posting. The article is for an American magazine.
This is the question and answer session.

Hello David, how are you doing today?
I am good thanks, enjoying the sunshine here in Spain.

So, can you tell me a little bit about your websites?
My websites all have a common theme, helping people interested in the swinging lifestyle meet other interested people so that they can have sex with each other. We offer as much as we can for free (most stuff) and charge a Premium membership for people who want the full bells and whistles.

Is this a full time job for you, or do you have another profession?
I retired from work in 1999 when I was 45. At first I bummed around travelling the world, exploring the women in as many countries as I could, then decided I would turn my hobby of creating swingers sites into a business. I developed http://www.dirty-david.com/ from a picture site (of me playing with other mens wives, with a few swingers ads) into a swingers contact site. It quickly grew, and by mid 2000 I had over 20,000 adverts, all hand edited by me. I managed to automate the site, but it continued to grow and grow. By 2003 my software was beginning to fail under the strain. I was lucky, and a company who had developed some dating software was looking for other markets for its software approached me and suggested joining forces. The site now has over 1.6 million swingers profiles, and is growing at about 1100 new users every day.

Tell us a little bit about Jo?
Jo is my wife - we got married on 30th August 2006 in Gibraltar - I met her through my best friend in England, asked her to come to one of my parties, and we have been having fun together pretty much ever since. Initially we were just friends who went to parties together, but after her divorce in 2001 we started seeing more of each other. We saw so much of each other in fact that I postponed a 6 month trip to Australia in the summer of 2001 to stay with her for a few weeks when she moved into her new house. We have never been apart since then. Jo is a bi-sexual swinger, who loves sex with men and girls. I love to join in the fun, but I also love to watch her with other people and to take photographs for her exhibitionist site and for the walls in our basement playroom.

So what exactly is "Swinging?"
Swinging is different things to different people, but the basic concept is that consenting adults have sex with other consenting adults as long as they are all happy, and are only doing what they want to do. We do not encourage people to play away from their life partner without their knowledge, as it will probably lead to divorce. There are however many singles playing in the scene with their partners knowledge, where for one reason or another the non playing partner does not want to join in.

Can you tell us about your travels in Europe? What locations and establishments do swingers visit?
The best cities for sex in Europe are Amsterdam and Hamburg, both of which have many clubs, and a very open and liberal attitude to sexual behaviour. There are also many swinging clubs in every capital city and every large town will have either a club for swingers, or private swingers parties every weekend. Cap d`Adge in France is a large naturist area which caters for swingers as well. The club which consistently wins the award for best swingers club is Fun4Two just outside the little dutch town of Gouda. Jo and I like to visit there as often as we can.

Tell us about Germany? Are German swingers into all sorts of crazy stuff? We've heard stories about the Germans.
Yes, the Germans are full of crazy stuff. Back in 2004 we accepted an affiliate application from a German film distributor. They added the ads section to their site and we started getting loads of new members within a couple of days. We soon had to pull the account, the Germans were all interested in sex with animals! The film club had not told me that their biggest selling titles were all about sex with animals.

Are you looking to encourage new swinging couples?
Our mission in life is to encourage everyone to give swinging a go. Age(over 18), looks and weight are not an issue, as there are always other people looking for people like you. We use our sites to offer advice and information to new comers so that they know what to expect when the do meet up with someone, or decide to visit a club.There are now many swingers sites apart from mine which cater specifically for senior swingers (people over 60), cuddly swingers (larger people) bareback swingers (no condoms) Christian swingers (non conformist Christians) inter-racial swingers (love the contrast of colours) and many more. If you are looking for a niche, do a search, you will find it. If not, write to me, I will create it....

Are there any differences in the sex laws that you have noticed between different European countries?
Since most countries in Europe are now members of the European Union, their national laws have been by-passed by European law. Within this is the human rights charter which means that the state (and employers) are not allowed to interfere with a persons sexual life. This means that sexual activity between adults is now a private matter which the state cannot stop. They still have laws to protect Children, and animals (though the german authorities seem to turn a blind eye to this area).

What did you do on your trip to Amsterdam? Did you visit any of the famous strip clubs? Did you take part in the red light district?
Our trips to Amsterdam are for the swingers clubs, rather than the red light district. The joy of being a swinger is that you get to have sex with hundreds of people of the opposite sex, without the need to pay. So the red light district is a fun place to walk and look at the sex workers in their windows, but not somewhere we spend our money. The strip clubs are fun as well, as its always fun to watch an expert remove their clothes in an erotic way.We try out a new swingers club on each visit, and go back to Fun4Two on another night. We have met many nice people from all over the world at these clubs and would recommend a visit to all of you.

What is the largest swing session that you have attended? What was that like?
The largest swinging session we have attended was at Fun4Two in Holland. Its a great atmosphere with people from all over the world out to have a great night. We have performed live on stage in their mini theatre, had sex in the Jacuzzi with a dozen others, had an orgy in their orgy room, and enjoyed watching dozens of people have sex together in the various play rooms. The great thing is, everyone is there for fun, so there is virtually no drunkenness, no drugs, no fighting, and everyone goes home tired but satiated.

What is the best thing about your partner Jo?
She always loves me, and always comes back to me, no matter who we play with, or what we do. That plus her open-ness, her willingness to try new things and her friendliness towards, and ability to get on with everyone we meet.

The UK is a wonderful place. Is there something you can tell us about the UK that most North Americans wouldn't know?
I dont have time to write a book..... But.... Jo being Canadian has come up with a couple things. The UK is a modern country, its the worlds 4th biggest economy despite being such a small country. Until the early 20th Century it ruled the biggest empire the world has ever known, with more than a quarter of the world and half its people ruled from London. The streets are not paved with cobblestones, women do not walk around in hats. The computer, the steam engine, the telephone, jet engines and hovercraft were all British inventions, and that Japanese research in 2000 discovered that more than half of the inventions in the 20th Century came from the UK. The queen has no political power, we are ruled by an elected parliament, the queen is a figurehead with less power than your president.

What was the swinging 60s? We hear stories, but I'd rather hear from Dirty David.
Well I am sorry, but I really cannot answer that - I was only 14 in 1970, so apart from enjoying seeing girls in very short skirts, I was not involved.

Well, it has been great chatting with you. Do you have anything to say to our readers?
If you are a single guy - dont look at swinging as a free shag - the women are there to please themselves, not you. You are one in thousands, almost all single guys want to be in the scene, but as a result you have to be something special to stand out from the crowd.
If you are a single woman, you will be welcomed with open arms. Although there are millions of single women involved in the scene around the world, they tend not to advertise, but browse adverts and pick the "outstanding" guys and couples to meet. Single women tend to fall into 3 groups:
Young late teens, early 20s. These girls are tired of the fumbling and inexperience of guys their own age, and use the swinging scene to find older more experienced guys who are more likely to know what they are doing, and hopefully to give the girl the pleasure she desires.
Mid 20-mid 40´s. These women are often married and cheating. Their husbands are working all day every day, come home too tired to have sex, and leave the women who are in their prime sexually living a lonely frustrated life. These women have the time, the access to the internet, and the sexual need, and millions of them are prowling the internet looking for decent guys for NSA (no strings attached) sex all day every day.
Mid 40s upwards. These ladies are either divorced or widows, but still needing regular sex. They are more likely to want to form a relationship than just meet for sex. So be warned. If you are a couple, you will find that you will be welcomed in clubs and private parties all over the world. Just remember to be clean, polite, and stick to the house rules.

Thanks for your time.
You're welcome, its been a pleasure. Now, can I interest you in coming to a swingers party?